Failure as Success

I'm sure the troupe is nothing new to you. I have failed more times than I've succeeded.

This past week I completed a journal. It took just over a year, which means that I wrote more often than not. That is a small success. I paused to reflect on how far I've come, what all I've accomplished, my failures, and my goals. I had a sad bit before the weekend started because the old perfectionist came out, criticizing me. Thanks to other artists sharing their journeys, I was able to see my inner critic for what it is, something that gets too much stage time in my life.

I'll save you from the boring, personal bits, but I've come to realize that I had a bad relationship with the Perfectionist. It's time to put it in a lesser role and give the adventurer the limelight.

The odd exercise that helped me the most this past week was "re-inventing yourself as the hero of a story". Writing yourself as a hero character or an alter ego, of sorts. It felt weird, but then I read my mini story. My current issues became so clear!

My other "I" was a post-apocalypse heroine standing at the end of a failed mission. She has crossed thousands of miles, faced many dangers, and risked her life for others...only to reach her destination and be let down. Her allies weren't allies, her goal was unattainable, and most of what she knew was a lie. Thanks to the end-of-the-world, her old life didn't exist, so she couldn't go back. The future was scary and unknown. What motivated her through the past was not real, so she needs a new mission. She was so focused on survival that she didn't consider she'd survive.

Kind of like craving ice cream, only to find out the store that took you five hours through a snowstorm to get it is out of ice cream. Now what?

I've been rebuilding a new life for a couple years now, but the journey isn't over. It's affected me as an artist. It's affected me as a person. There was still a demon clinging to my life force. It was the perfectionist.

Seeking perfection isn't wrong. Being motivated to do your best can be a wonderful thing. Hell, my pursuit to be better in all areas of life is what made me who I am today. The struggle is when a virtue becomes a vice.

It is time to rearrange my priorities, redefine my goals, and look at the world a bit different.

Three special guys saying yes.

Start with the Facts

Signs your inner perfectionist is turning into a demon:

1. You do something fun or you're having a good time when it says, "Yeah, but..."
2. You're too scared to try anything because you're afraid of failure.
3. You're certain something bad will happen, so you don't do something.

From now on, I will not see failures as a reflection of my character or even my skill, but as a lesson. Failure means you're trying, and that's what matters. I'm going to do stuff even if I'm afraid of failing. Perfection isn't even definable, much less achievable.

Look at all your failures...you're still here. So you tried something and it didn't work out...

If you are reading this and you're dead, please email me.

Look at life like an adventure. We expect crazy things to happen on adventures, right? You can't fail an adventure, no matter what the perfectionist says.

We control very little - most things are completely out of our control.

Fact: Life is something to experience, not control.

Next Chapter

Over the next couple months I'll be revamping this blog a bit and launching my newest project. It's a secret right now, but it'll be public soon enough! This blog will still be my personal/professional artist blog - I'll be posting about art in relation to history, psychology, science, and just art in general. I am planning on making a psychology blog and lifestyle blog at some point. 

I finally have paint again! So I can paint! So I can finish my commission and art projects and finally make that silly video! 

Let's agree to not be perfect. I lost my footing for a bit, but I'm back in the game. I'm still on an adventure, so people can either join me or get out of the way.

Words from Famous People to Inspire You

“If you focus on the risks, they'll multiply in your mind and eventually paralyze you. You want to focus on the task, instead, on doing what needs to be done.”

― Barry Eisler

“Edit your life frequently and ruthlessly. It's your masterpiece after all.”

― Nathan W. Morris

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

― Winston S. Churchill

“Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it.”

― Salvador Dalí

“Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat.”

― F. Scott Fitzgerald

“Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”

― Samuel Beckett

“Negative results are just what I want. They’re just as valuable to me as positive results. I can never find the thing that does the job best until I find the ones that don’t.”

― Thomas A. Edison

“It's failure that gives you the proper perspective on success.”

― Ellen DeGeneres, Seriously... I'm Kidding

FIN

A World Without Art

I tried to imagine a world without art.

A world without music, paintings, poetry, prose, films, or even artistic architecture. I was caught up in my mind, struggling to envision such a world. Finally, I decided that such a world could not exist. The very fabric of our human nature is woven with our need to create. As someone who studies human behavior and the brain, I can say confidently that the evolved skills we used to build civilization and grow into what we are today is directly linked with the processes we use to make art.

We are curious, inventive, resourceful, expressive, passionate, and clever. These traits enabled us to evolve beyond the usual hunter-gatherer into more complex, social, world-altering creatures. Our most ancient ancestors did not have the tools that other hunters did. We do not have the claws of the tiger, or power of the bear, or even the speed of a hawk. We had to survive by adapting skills. Our abilities to make tools, spark a fire, and find resources as a group paved the way for our brains to become master artists.

Other animal species create as well. The same skill set is within us and we use it to make ornate, beautiful structures that touch the sky, to fashion telescopes to peer into the starry unknown, and write pages upon pages about abstract concepts. We are artists by nature. To take away our art would be to discourage the wonderful natural abilities we have to make amazing things.

The unfortunate side of our gift is the destruction we leave in our wake. Thanks to globalization we are slowly becoming aware of our impact on the Earth. Hopefully the future will see us making wiser choices when it comes to the footprint we leave behind.

Outside of obvious environmental issues, there is the concern of downplaying and even cutting out artistic programs from education. Students in many schools are not even learning to appreciate art. I'm worried about the long term effects of absent art programs.

I attended two very different high schools. One had art, music, and even film study classes. The other school only had a band program, which was limited and starving for funds. Students were using instruments with duct tape on them. It broke my heart. Fellow classmates tried to help by starting a creative club, wherein they encouraged and supported one another. It did not last outside of them graduating. These students wanted and needed something that the education system decided was not important.

We teach what we are taught.

If we taught that art isn't important, then we grow up believing it.

I do not want to know a world without art.

The Struggle of Art and Silly Things People Say About It

I spend part of each day searching for fresh art. Swimming in a sea of "the usual" it is difficult to be shocked, amused, or impressed by art in today's world. This weekend I was quite impressed by some digital art I stumbled on and spent a little time researching the artist. This artist has almost nothing concerning a social presence on the internet, which is well and fine. I have a love/hate relationship with social media, so I understand if someone chooses to be without it.

Then I found a brief interview and review of the artist's work. The art is good, don't misunderstand me. It's quite good, compared to its peers, however this article made the artist sound like the next Michelangelo or Da Vinci or Pollock. This person is simply a very good digital artist. As I continued to read the article the writer explains to me how amazing, deep, and complex the artist is. How she is a mystery. She is a "true" artist because her relationship with art is unlike any other artist/art relationship ever. She doesn't make art for profit in any way, so she is a true artist.

My gut reaction is to call "bullshit".

Unless an artist is literally starving to death while making art in the middle of nowhere and none of us are hearing about it because witnessing the art is truly irrelevant...an artist is working for profit. Perhaps their profit is enough money to buy more supplies to make more art. Or maybe they make art to see their loved ones smile. Not only that, why is it a sin in the art world to make money from art? Why do I have to go hungry, not pay bills, and bum off people in order to be a true artist? Do I need an art sugar daddy to patron me while I fart around art all day? That sounds irresponsible.

Some people are fortunate enough to earn a living by creating, or have sufficient enough money to make art without fear of poverty. Most of us do not have this blessing. Plus, making art for a living isn't easy, loving it or not. Art is made with blood, sweat, and lots of tears (and copious amounts of a preferred beverage).

Guess what? The article then explained this holy artist is an illustrator by day and hopes to be selling prints of her art soon. You can imagine my expression after reading that was a cross between Dean Winchester dealing with Sam's sh*t again and Kermit the Frog having a cup of tea.

This idea of art + money = sin came once artists did not have to make art for rich people anymore. Once the camera was invented, as technology made it possible for more people to capture images more easily, the world of art changed and grew. Art could finally be pure expression of whatever you want. Hell, you could drop a piece of cheese on the highway and say it's art, if you wish. This is amazing and awesome and makes me happy. There's no reason to put boundaries on art - once you do, it's dead.

However, some artists have taken to turning their backs on artists who want to sell, calling them sell outs. Like the article I mentioned before, they seem convinced that art is only pure when it is mysterious and not for profit. (Followed by the irony that in fact the pure artist does indeed make money from art.)

I make art for money. I make art just because. I make art for friends and family. At the moment, I have several projects going...two are pet portraits for people I love, some are for profit, and some are for my own amusement. I know other artists living out their creative career the same way. Our art isn't less pure. It's true that my pet portraits and purple skulls are not ground-breaking, mind-altering, game-changing creative pieces...but not all art has to be. Does art have to be only personal expression in order to be art? I didn't finish my degree in art, but I remember that the masters made art for other people. I'm certain the Mona Lisa was a paid piece, as well as the Sistine Chapel. Some art is made for religion! The pyramids are art as well as tombs for god-kings.

Instead of trying to cultivate a world of starving, patron-seeking artists, I wish we would encourage the development of skill and the love of craft. Apprenticeships are dying and old crafts are dying. Don't worry about making "pure" art, as if there is such a thing.

Pick a craft, skill, or hobby. Learn it.
Support artists when you can.
Don't feel guilty about supporting yourself.

That's my two cents.