Failure as Success

I'm sure the troupe is nothing new to you. I have failed more times than I've succeeded.

This past week I completed a journal. It took just over a year, which means that I wrote more often than not. That is a small success. I paused to reflect on how far I've come, what all I've accomplished, my failures, and my goals. I had a sad bit before the weekend started because the old perfectionist came out, criticizing me. Thanks to other artists sharing their journeys, I was able to see my inner critic for what it is, something that gets too much stage time in my life.

I'll save you from the boring, personal bits, but I've come to realize that I had a bad relationship with the Perfectionist. It's time to put it in a lesser role and give the adventurer the limelight.

The odd exercise that helped me the most this past week was "re-inventing yourself as the hero of a story". Writing yourself as a hero character or an alter ego, of sorts. It felt weird, but then I read my mini story. My current issues became so clear!

My other "I" was a post-apocalypse heroine standing at the end of a failed mission. She has crossed thousands of miles, faced many dangers, and risked her life for others...only to reach her destination and be let down. Her allies weren't allies, her goal was unattainable, and most of what she knew was a lie. Thanks to the end-of-the-world, her old life didn't exist, so she couldn't go back. The future was scary and unknown. What motivated her through the past was not real, so she needs a new mission. She was so focused on survival that she didn't consider she'd survive.

Kind of like craving ice cream, only to find out the store that took you five hours through a snowstorm to get it is out of ice cream. Now what?

I've been rebuilding a new life for a couple years now, but the journey isn't over. It's affected me as an artist. It's affected me as a person. There was still a demon clinging to my life force. It was the perfectionist.

Seeking perfection isn't wrong. Being motivated to do your best can be a wonderful thing. Hell, my pursuit to be better in all areas of life is what made me who I am today. The struggle is when a virtue becomes a vice.

It is time to rearrange my priorities, redefine my goals, and look at the world a bit different.

Three special guys saying yes.

Start with the Facts

Signs your inner perfectionist is turning into a demon:

1. You do something fun or you're having a good time when it says, "Yeah, but..."
2. You're too scared to try anything because you're afraid of failure.
3. You're certain something bad will happen, so you don't do something.

From now on, I will not see failures as a reflection of my character or even my skill, but as a lesson. Failure means you're trying, and that's what matters. I'm going to do stuff even if I'm afraid of failing. Perfection isn't even definable, much less achievable.

Look at all your failures...you're still here. So you tried something and it didn't work out...

If you are reading this and you're dead, please email me.

Look at life like an adventure. We expect crazy things to happen on adventures, right? You can't fail an adventure, no matter what the perfectionist says.

We control very little - most things are completely out of our control.

Fact: Life is something to experience, not control.

Next Chapter

Over the next couple months I'll be revamping this blog a bit and launching my newest project. It's a secret right now, but it'll be public soon enough! This blog will still be my personal/professional artist blog - I'll be posting about art in relation to history, psychology, science, and just art in general. I am planning on making a psychology blog and lifestyle blog at some point. 

I finally have paint again! So I can paint! So I can finish my commission and art projects and finally make that silly video! 

Let's agree to not be perfect. I lost my footing for a bit, but I'm back in the game. I'm still on an adventure, so people can either join me or get out of the way.

Words from Famous People to Inspire You

“If you focus on the risks, they'll multiply in your mind and eventually paralyze you. You want to focus on the task, instead, on doing what needs to be done.”

― Barry Eisler

“Edit your life frequently and ruthlessly. It's your masterpiece after all.”

― Nathan W. Morris

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

― Winston S. Churchill

“Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it.”

― Salvador Dalí

“Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat.”

― F. Scott Fitzgerald

“Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”

― Samuel Beckett

“Negative results are just what I want. They’re just as valuable to me as positive results. I can never find the thing that does the job best until I find the ones that don’t.”

― Thomas A. Edison

“It's failure that gives you the proper perspective on success.”

― Ellen DeGeneres, Seriously... I'm Kidding

FIN